One of the best things I did with my kid.
On Jamie’s 18th birthday
I sat him down in front of the television and played him a video of his three-year-old self. He burst out laughing so hard — tears rolled down his cheeks.
In the classic experiment from the 1970s, psychologist Walter Mischel placed a small treat in front of young children. He offered them a choice; they could either enjoy the treat immediately or wait a brief period and earn two sweet treats instead.
When the Mischel left the room, many children couldn’t wait; they ate the treat (often a cookie or marshmallow). …
How to be as happy as a child
Humans are limited only by their lack of curiosity.
If you are the proud owner of a brain, find a bench in a busy part of the city, then sit and watch. Notice the cars, buses and lorries vying to get in the right lane. Drivers frustrated by drivers.
Cyclists zipping up the inside lane. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of people walking; scurrying, pushing, crowding, teeming, all intent on getting to their destination. The old and the young. The rich and the poor. Men, women and children all moving away from a place they don’t want to be.
That’s life.
We are always going somewhere and when we get there…
They only want to tell you about…
YOU — I have a great big throbbing sore toe, I stubbed it on a stoic.
MEDIUM — This is how I quit my job and make a gazillion dollars every month.
— What about my sore toe?
— Do this if you need to do to get in better shape — and it’s not what you think.
— It probably is what I think.
— The trouble with you is you are standing still.
— Yeah, because I’ve got a sore toe.
— Life is more about good habits than feeling pain.
— Have you seen my toe, though?
…
And what you should do to avoid a ticket if stopped by the police
If you were to bump into my nineteen-year-old self, I’m pretty sure you’d think, “cocky little upstart!”
You’d be mistaken.
It wasn’t cockiness; I wasn’t as confident or self-assured as I let on. I was just a naïve lad with no life experience. Immature as the next randy teenager who wants to earn enough pennies to drink beer and pluck up the courage to ask a girl out.
Yet, there I was, joining the Scottish police, without a clue to what I was letting myself in for.
It turned out policing was like sex; I wasn’t sure if I was…
It takes a strength of character few possess.
It is all too easy to become riled when people try to bully or intimidate. We recoil at the injustice when people lie about us. We let our emotions boil over and we lash back when needled by a hostile person.
That’s what Trump does. He pokes and prods until he finds his target’s hot button — that one little niggle that makes people react.
I’ve met people like Trump — hell, I grew up with one.
They know how to goad a response. How to raise the hairs on the back of your neck. …
A top chef let me in on this trick and science agreed with him.
I never use a recipe to make soup.
Take an onion, a carrot and a leek — or use whatever veg you have leftover — and turn it into a bowl that will delight your taste buds and make you grateful to be alive.
You don’t need a recipe. This is a simple method of making soup that will always deserve the approving accolades it attracts.
But don’t take my word on it.
My secretary, Ros, used to bring in homemade soup for lunch and I used to bring in mine. …
I have a dream — one day you might read these
Dear Reader,
I have a dream.
I dream that we can all work as a team — and that way we share the blame when it is my fault.
I dream of the day when people will learn the difference between ‘lose’ and ‘loose’.
I dream children will learn that picking up your trash is what makes you proud of your country, not painting your face and waving a gun.
I dream that I don’t have to search for hours to find a customer service number to call when I have a problem with my Amazon order.
I dream people…
And this is why I’m keeping an eye on their anticipated IPO
On Sunday, my wife sold her car.
We advertised it on Facebook Marketplace and the next day a guy came to see it. He liked it, made an offer and after an amicable haggle we agreed on a price. He took her bank details, put them into his banking app on his phone and within seconds the money was in my wife’s account.
All this while standing in our driveway.
We didn’t need to wait until a bank opened. The transaction took place on a Sunday, and a bank holiday.
Six days ago, Medium informed me they had sent my Partner Program Earnings to Stripe. …
Who can make the most money with it in a year
I created a new WhatsApp group for me and my three kids.
Would you like to take part in a challenge?
I’ll give you £1,000 and you have to make money with it.
“Sure,” replied №1 son.
“I like this idea,” №2 son texted back.
“Are you being serious?” Asked №3 son.
The Format
At no cost to you, the Challenge will run for one year.
You can use the seed money to buy stocks and shares, buy and sell goods, or start a sideline — I’ll leave it up to you and your imaginations.
I’ll send you £1,000. The challenge is to use it to make more money. …
Constable Sylvester’s quick-witted prank hooked me like a hungry guppy
My dad used to say he was the worst singer in Scotland — until he married my mum, then he became the second-worst singer in Scotland. My mum had Van Gogh’s ear for music.
In the fullness of time, my older brother came along. They nurtured him, and he grew from a tiny baby into a toddler. He learned to walk and talk. And then the day came when he too tried to sing, and on that day my dad realised he had become the third-worst singer in Scotland.
Regrettably, all four of his children inherited his ‘tone-deaf’ gene. So…
Malky McEwan
Wrote a funny police memoir, people liked it so he wrote some more. He has a dream...
