HUMOR FROM THE LAW COURTS

A Countdown of the Funniest Replies Cops Gave to Lawyers in Court.

Five, four, three, two, and the winner.

Malky McEwan
6 min readJan 16, 2021

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Photo by Brian Lundquist on Unsplash

Is there anything more satisfying than a country bumpkin cop getting one over a hotshot lawyer?

These are my top five favourites — based on how long and how hard I laughed.

#5. Courtesy of Simon Foster.

Around 30 years ago, I was serving on a jury in Isleworth Crown Court in West London. One case was for the theft of a speedboat.

Police dispatchers had taken the report of the recent theft of a speedboat and radioed a description of the vehicle and trailer involved.

A crew making their way to the scene saw a car towing a trailer passed in the opposite direction, a speedboat sat on the trailer. The crew did a U-turn, switched on his blue lights and siren, and went after it. The driver failed to stop.

After a short chase, the driver crashed into a hedge, abandoned his car and climbed a fence into the back gardens of a row of houses. To assist in the search of the gardens, they called for the dog-handler.

The relatively young defence barrister gave the officers a hard time. He’d questioned their powers, their…

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Malky McEwan

Born storyteller. Born curious. Fascinated with what makes people tick and how the world works. https://malkymcewan.medium.com/subscribe